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The latest testosterone-saturated blow-'em-up from producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Michael Bay (The Rock,Bad Boys) continues Hollywood's millennium-fueled fascination with the destruction of our planet. There's no arguing that the successful duo understands what mainstream American audiences want in their blockbuster movies--loads of loud, eye-popping special effects, rapid- fire pacing, and patriotic flag waving. Bay's protagonists--the eight crude, lewd, oversexed (but lovable, of course) oil drillers summoned to save the world from a Texas-sized meteor hurling toward the earth--are not flawless heroes, but common men with whom all can relate. In this huge Western-in-space soap opera, they're American cowboys turned astronauts. Sci-fi buffs will appreciate Bay's fetishizing of technology, even though it's apparent he doesn't understand it as anything more than flashing lights and shiny gadgets. Smartly, the duo also tries to lure the art-house crowd, raiding the local indie acting stable and populating the film with guys like Steve Buscemi, Billy Bob Thornton, Owen Wilson, and Michael Duncan, all adding needed touches of humor and charisma. When Bay applies his sledgehammer aesthetics to the action portions of the film, it's mindless fun; it's only whenArmageddon tackles humanity that it becomes truly offensive. Not sinceMississippi Burning have racial and cultural stereotypes been substituted for characters so blatantly--African Americans, Japanese, Chinese, Scottish, Samoans, Muslims, French ... if it's not white and American, Bay simplifies it. Or, make that whitemale America; the film features only three notable females--four if you count the meteor, who's constantly referred to as a "bitch that needs drillin'," but she's a hell of a lot more developed and unpredictable than the other women characters combined. Sure, Bay's film creates some tension and contains some visceral moments, but if he can't create any redeemable characters outside of those in space, what's the point of saving the planet?--Dave McCoy
For What It's Worth If you can suspend all scientific plausibility and believe that the US Government is competent and ready, you might enjoy this film if... if you don't mind having every heartstring mercilessly tugged as 8 Texas wildcatters with "the wrong stuff" set off to save the world from an imminent collision with an asteroid. There are lots of stars in Armageddon's firmament; who doesn't like pretty Liv Tyler, macho Bruce Willis, homely Steve Bucemi, or sensitive Owen Wilson. Unfortunately, they are all prone to camp, over-act, and wisecrack in this opus.
This isn't the worst film ever made. It has funny moments and some neat effects. If you like the 'bad disaster movie' genre, go see this.
If you are a serious film fan, however, beware: Armageddon has a really cliche soundtrack among it's many other cliches. As the lead puppet in "Team America" sings, "Why does Michael Bey get to keep on makin' moooovies???"
A two hour music video... blech Just what where they trying to do here? Is it a science fiction movie or an MTV music video? I haven't seen so much Hollywood claptrap put together in a single movie since... well I have to admit. Hollywood does put a lot of claptrap on a fair amount of movies each year. Either way Armageddon is one of those movies that tries way too hard to be cool, stylish and sexy all the while alienating any decent storytelling in the process.
Everything starts off well enough with the government going over the situation and some interesting side story at Stamper's oilrig. Even during the training scenes everything seems entertaining and even fun at times. The second the space shuttles launch you get an entirely different movie. It's an attention deficit disorderly's dream. You can pretty much time every single camera shot at about three seconds or less. Shots going back and forth between the spaceriggers and mission control and Liv looking soulfully into space and back again are dizzying and mind-boggling at times. It's like a music video gone mad. There is no room to just soak up the situation as director Michael Bay decides to just overwhelm you with bits of imagery instead.
I will admit the movie does look nice. Liv Tyler is cute and the lights and cameras are in all of the right place for some perfect poses. The problem is most of the movie seems to be about nothing more than all the lights and cameras being in all the right places for those perfect poses. The script slips up big time in a few places and there is more than one plot hole out there. Then there is the unbelievably stupid tragic ending, which I still cannot for the life of me figure out why they did it that way. It just didn't make sense for a family man to make the ultimate sacrifice (hope that didn't spoil too much... aw who cares...).
Still the acting is very good when you actually get a chance to see it (like before the shuttle launch/MTV music video movie starts). Billy Bob Thornton probably gets the biggest kudos for being the ultimate professional military man with a brain and a way of people to match. Michael Clarke Duncan probably stands out more for me as well because of a particularly entertaining scene regarding a psych evaluation.
I know Armageddon was a blockbuster and that people all over the world sings its praise. Well I don't! In my opinion this movie is nothing more than a cliché-ridden fluff that is to movies what pre-fab boy bands are to the legitimate music world. Crrrrrap! I can't recommend this short attention span nightmware and still be able to sleep at night.I'd rather watch paint dry... I find it truly amazing anyone could give this film anything more than 1 star (the lowest, unfortunately, Amazon allows). It really is a ZERO star flick. There is NOTHING about this film, in my opinion, that is good. Nothing!
Michael Bay's "technique" is so totally awful. Not just this, ALL of his films. The fact this guy is "allowed" to make films at all in Hollyweird just goes to show ya that "talent" and "creativity" have little to do with whether films get to the big screen or not. Michael Bay is a HORRIBLE "director." Simply horrible. I haven't seen (thank the Lord, whatever you may conceive him/her to be) all of his films), but if you catch "Pearl Harbor," another of his horrors, you'll notice that this guy is IN LUST with close ups, shaky camera, shaky camera close ups, fast TV commercial-like cuts and editing, and more and more and more and more of the same. Is all of this supposed to add up to enjoyable film entertainment? I think not, unless you're all crystal-methed up or something.
The story and characters are so cardboard cut-out, and all of it is so annoying, one hardly knows where to begin to diss this mess. But I won't even try. And do you know why?
It's because this is LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR filmmaking. And lots of folks will love this crap, not knowing any better (Forgive them Lord, for they know not...). The basic idea here could've been something special, but Michael Bay and whomever his Hollywood co-horts and associates are, turned this into ONE OF THE WORST BIG BUDGET HOLLYWOOD FILMS EVER!
Besides the crappy, by-the-numbers characters and plot, besides the "patriotic" nonsense (the rest of the world also threatened by Armageddon basically doesn't exist, or simply doesn't matter), virtually every shot, every scene, is so choppy, mostly extreme close ups (even when action scenes demand something else), and so cornball, that I wonder how anyone with half a brain could sit through this and actually find value in it. And "science?" Forgettabout it. This film's scientific value is non-existent. Even the special effects add up to zilch.
As I write this, I even find I'm wasting my time. Why waste time at all on pure filmic garbage? Hollywood and the "studios" have offered us a helluva lot of great films, despite obvious limitations and compromises. In my heart, I'd like to believe that in times of deep reflection and honesty, Michael Bay himself would even admit that this film is pure crap. But this is not a movie I have any "heart" for except for total contempt and the first time I saw it was enough. Further excerpts caught on replays on TV have only confirmed my original thoughts.
This movie makes "Independence Day," another pretty bad movie, look like a masterpiece. This is a 4 Tylenol special, and have on hand plenty of eye drops. Michael Bay should be banned from making any more films. There may be worse "filmmakers" out there, but none of them are making any money, and are probably working at your neighborhood 7-11.
A total mess...paint your wall and watch it dry. You'll enjoy yourself much more than watching this.
