This book saved my marriage and my sanity Literally it did. I had read dozens of books trying to find a way to salvage my marriage, including several advising doing anything to please your husband. You know the ones-"no matter what,stay sweet" kind of thing,but building a truly loving marriage isn't that simple. "Boundaries in Marriage" gives advice on how you (man or woman)can be loving but also stand firm- stand firm in the areas that define your freedom as an individual, your self respect and your dignity as a human being. This was the first book on relationships that made total sense to me and that made a truly positive difference in my life. I also recommend "Boundaries" by the same authors.
A horribly harmful book! By focusing on the separateness of the two individuals in unifying marriage, this book will only encourage the divisions that it seeks to stop. Claiming a form of biblicalness by referring to biblical passages but missing the biblical model of marriage, they write a book that will harm many a Christian marriage. Their thesis is that many of the post marital problems comes because Christian couples naively assume that when two become one they will truly be that: one. No, they say, they remain to be two and the only way to keep the troubles out are to define boundaries of each's individuality from the onset.
You hear none of this in the Bible. Rather you read, 'What God has joined together let no man separate.' Marriage is designed by God to be a supernatural unifying to two individuals, much like in the trinity, indeed the best picture of this unity that the world can see. 'Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.' A selfless love by the husband will keep conflicts to a minimum because he leads, not by following his own desires, but by looking out for her best interest. 'Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.'
Rather than saying that our conflicts are because we are rebelliously living outside of God's plan for marriage, 'Boundaries in Marriage' says that we just need to give each other their space. Some of the suggestions are wise and would help to make a more godly marriage, but not because we are honoring each others' individuality, but because they involved thinking of the other.
If you are just newly married or have been married for a while and are looking for some practical advice on making your marriage a better agent for God's glory I would recommend: For wives - The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace For husbands - Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God by C.J. Mahaney For couples - Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson (although I do not agree with one-size-fits-all applications on areas such as homeschooling).a rehash This book was a rehash of the original Boundaries. Save your money and buy it instead.
