A Must For Every Stage in your Relationship This hits every point exactly! It is an objective point of view that relates to what you're going through as well as how you choose to make it through on the other side - and what you need to have a succesful relationship. Or to just make sure you don't make the same mistakes over and over. I would highly recommend it!!!
Right of Passage (spelling is intentional) "Crazy Time" is a useful book for reading about some of the emotions you may experience in decoupling a marriage. The author discusses marital deadlock, separation, feeling on-edge, denial, shock, ambivalence, depression and three phases of rebirth. I finished the book for what is hoped to be a useful broadening of perspective for which only the passing of time will render a fair verdict. There are some significant criticisms, however.
For the first half of the book, virtually all the case studies share a curious experience. At least one and often both the divorcing persons had affairs during the marriage. Apparently the author did not consider an interviewee worthy of consideration if he or she did not sleep around. After reading the chapter on sex I was convinced the author performed a significant share of her research in bed.
Also, in the author's parlance every marriage has a dominant partner and a submissive one. While this is not a kinky tome, there is no discussion of the sharing and division of responsibilities and pleasures that occur even in some of the worst marriages.
Children get short shrift in this primer on self-fulfillment. This book is about you, or at least some of you. The kids will presumably learn to navigate on their own.
The topic deserves more thorough and encompassing research than is offered here notwithstanding the difficulty of tackling a topic with such a range of experiences. Undoubtedly every divorce is unique, but it would have been nice to recognize more of myself and my soon-to-be ex-spouse in the text.
The author expects you to feel intense anger at some point in the process whether you have initiated the divorce or whether the bomb fell on you. Her sole case study who never experienced anger remains bewildered as to why she shot her husband and then reported the incident to police while she tended to his wounds. More slice of life stories await you.I didn't realize everyone went through this! I stumbled across this book in a used bookstore, and I believe it was FATE that I found it! This book helps explain the erratic behavior most people experience during the divorce process, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. She does not try to assign "right" or "wrong" behaviors, simply "behaviors." People who are looking to blame spouses for their actions will not find a willing ear, but this book is for people who want to move on with their lives, yet seek to understand why we act the way we do. Extremely insightful, I've recommended this book to others going through divorce, and they have all found passages that have helped them personally. Buy this used, since you will probably loan it out to someone who won't give it back!
